The 80/20 Principle in Romantic Relationships

Did you know that the 80/20 Principle applies to romantic relationships, too?

Your dream partner is not going to be 100% perfect 100% of the time, but you will adore—absolutely freaking LOVE—80% of who and how they are in the world! 

So the question for you is…

Is your current partner (if you have one) someone you feel this way about?

If so, then it’s imperative that if you’re having doubts or difficulty in the relationship, you DO YOUR WORK… Even if they are not doing their work. 

If it’s the case that you only really truly dig 20% of your partner’s interests, morals, values, habits, behaviors, activities, and emotional/spiritual/mental/physical qualities, and the other 80% is stuff that just doesn’t resonate with you, it’s time to get practical. 

Hopeless Romanticism

Uniting hopeless romanticism with realism is imperative for a successful romantic relationship. 

This does not mean you bail on being a hopeless romantic and treat your relationship like a business partnership, and it does not mean you allow your chemistry with someone and fantasy of “what could be” to dictate your future with your mate.

It means you find a balance between the two extremes and use your mind as the tool it is to differentiate the real gold from the fool’s gold, so that you may fall head-over-heels in love with a real gem. 

80/20 relationship theory goes: if you’ve found your gem and you’re super into 80% of your relationship with this person, but that 20% is seriously making you question things, that’s totally normal.

What is super important to do is hire an outside professional to help guide you through this probably really frustrating time back into a place that feels empowered, independent, inspired, and complete. 

Professional Eyes

If you’re just too deep in the relationship to see things clearly and you’re really confused about how you feel about this person at this point, again, having professional eyes on the relationship will help you realize what’s true for you.

I emphasize “professional” here, because it’s so easy to take our relationship issues to our friends and get their opinion on things.

The problem is that most friends (unless they are professional coaches, counselors, or other psych peeps) are swayed by their love for you, as well as their own relationship experiences.

And if your friends are professional coaches/counselors/psych peeps…

They will most likely still not be relating to you from their professional perspective, as you are not in a professional container with them — and any pro won’t cross that boundary without permission.

It’s incredibly helpful to have someone that is outside your world — an impartial, educated individual — with their eyes on your situation.

Finding Safety

It is 100% possible to be a hopeless romantic and a practical partner at the same time.

And you know what?

It feels so much safer when you know from a place of confidence that you can commit to your partner and fall in crazy love because this is the person you totally want to be with. 

Now I’d love to hear from you on the 80/20 relationship theory.

Do you love the 80 and are struggling with the 20? Or are you questioning if you’re even 20% into your partner right now, let alone 80? 

Let me know in the comments below!

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and sharing. This is all for you. ;)